360

I had to get to downtown.
The Lebanese LBCI TV had just finished airing the first part of it's "2005 in review" program.
The credits were just rolling and I was still clutching the TV remote in one hand and searching for my car keys with the other.

I had to get to downtown.
I can't believe I had forgotten what it felt like in the days leading up to Feb 14th. I remembered what it was like after that day. We Lebanese have talked/analyzed/marched everything to death since then and the disconnect was hitting me hard. But the days before? The frustration with the Syrian insolence, the disgust with the Lebanese cronies and the puppet government, the anticipation of the upcoming elections... I relived it all tonight. Part one ends with the Hariri assassination. For the past year it has always seemed like the beginning. The way some politicians speak today I am shocked to remember it was only 360 days ago. Have we really no respect left for that man and his gruesome death other than the occasional token nod and "rest in peace" murmur before we assault everything he stood for as corrupt, disingenuous and the root of all evil?

I had to get to downtown.
I wanted to walk up to the grave and have a look. Pay my respects. Remember how it was that he went from the promise of the opposition to 6 feet underground. Needless to say, on a stormy night like tonight I had no company. The hail had fallen so thick it bordered on actual snow. The only people around at 11pm were the revelers standing in line to get to "Buddha Bar" and some Arab tourists caught off guard by all the rain. I strolled past them, turned the corner into martyr's square and walked up to the grave. Nobody there but sparse security. It hadn't changed month since I was last there 5 months ago. A few minutes later I was out and walking back to the parking lot. The attendant gave me a quizzical look. "Night over so soon?" he said.
I nodded.

"360 nights over so soon", I thought to myself.