Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Worst Analogies

I happened upon a list of some of the worst analogies ever created.

Here are my favorites:

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life were like a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like, "Second Tall Man."

He spoke with the wisdom than can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those little boxes with a pinhole in it.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene has an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

... and my absolute favourite:

John and Mary never met. They were like two hummingbirds that had also never met.


Blogger Delirious said...

Ha Ha! So totally lame! :D

You forgot these:

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Ah the level of education in high schools these days... Tsk tsk tsk!

2:21 PM, November 20, 2005  
Blogger Xylocaine said...

Extremely confusing and funny...reminds me of the time when the elephant told the ant pass me the she answered: You think i'm a radio!!!

10:33 PM, November 20, 2005  
Blogger zwixo said...

funniest stuff i read in a while :)
really like your blog, lookin forward for more
take care

6:56 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Lazarus said...

hehe ... good stuff.

Delirious: The last simile is "interesting" :)

12:12 AM, November 22, 2005  
Blogger Tempest said...


Good luck, man.
A close friend of mine is doing her Phd in cleveland... something medical... let me know if you're interested in a lebanese contact, she gave me the green light to issue you her email, etc... :D

11:58 PM, November 22, 2005  
Blogger Ramzi said...

Hey it seems like we've both run into those!
I picked my favorites though...

That makes perfect sense, you know?
Like a waterproof towel...

Glad you like the blog.
Interesting nickname you've got there... any story?

Lazarus, it is interesting, isn't it?

Sure I'd love to... have her people call my people.

8:58 PM, November 23, 2005  

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