Tread Carefully

I hate treadmills.

Of all the potential knee-breaking, eye-popping, spine-crushing machines in the average gym, this particular contraption is particularly loathsome to me.

1. I'm not fooled into thinking I'm actually running just because it tries to pull the belt from under me. I am totally aware that I am jumping in place and moving my legs just to keep from being thrown off the back end. Hamster wheel comes to mind.


2. The constant 'whirrrrrrrrr' of the motor punctuated by the 'whiiiiiine' of your feet pushing against the belt borders on the Geneva Convention's definition of torture.


3. You have nothing to look at except the distant shaking image of a TV set or your own sweaty panting reflection in the mirror.


4. Who in the world actually runs at a constant speed of 3 km/hr? The human body is not designed for cruise-control accuracy! We all vary our speed when we jog or run because we naturally get spurts of energy intermixed with fatigue.


5. Hanging clothes from the sidebars (which is what most personal treadmills are eventually used for) is not an efficient use of space.
   

In short, these machines need to be shorted out, hacked into pieces, and thrown into a giant bonfire.

And today I came across this hilarious animated clip, which I think sums it up beautifully.
I am not alone!

Download here.