Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Croc Crock!

If I see one more episode of croc-hunter this or alligator-fornicator that, I'm going to hurl my TV out the window. It's unbelievable they still make these things and I can't think of one good reason why anyone would still want to watch!

The plot always goes like this:
1) Sunburnt white man runs through some wetland, camera on his heels trying to focus on something other than blades of grass
2) Vicious reptile honed by years of evolution into the perfect killing machine is humiliated by puny humans with rope and dragged onto the muddy clearing
3) Victorious wise-ass sits on said animal, and with duct tape (always silver colored mind you) proceeds to tape every limb and appendage
4) Verbal diarrhea ensues replete with fascination and praise for the lame lump of meat tied up like a roast in the back of the truck
5) Beast is released and returns to the water, but not before letting out a hiss that has everyone wetting their pants

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Now, a show where a blind deaf guy manages to give a lion an eyebrow piercing and wrap a cobra in a bowtie on it's tail... I would stay home to see that.


Blogger Slink said...

hahahahahahaha genius... think you're on to something there!

2:28 PM, December 03, 2004  

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