ER

I just spent the entire afternoon in the ER taking care of my dad.
Being a doctor means that the whole choatic scene over there is second nature to me now, and I'm thankful for that. But I'm also resentful.
I am happy that I can twist my way around the procedures and paperwork to get things done. But I also hate having to be in charge all the time just because I am capable.
I pity the regular patients and families whom you see stunned and overwhelmed by the whole thing. But I also envy them.

Does any of this make sense?
Is it understandable to feel the way I do? Or am I an ungrateful SOB?
I don't know.
I don't really care anymore...