Tuesday, December 13, 2005

One Man Demonstration?

Although my trip has been an excellent experience so far, yesterday's assassination has me wishing I were back home right now.

I've been a part of Lebanon's tragedy and triumph since Feb 14, and despite the sad events I was partially glad that I had been there to witness it. When they speak of "the Lebanese youth who took to the street" I feel included, when I look at the pictures of March 14th I know that somewhere in that sea of red & white is a speck that is me.

All those I speak to in Lebanon now say "you're lucky you're away, stay longer if you get the chance. Things are chaotic all over again." But what they don't understand is that the anger, worry and anguish I feel towards what is happening doesn't get diluted by distance. At least back home I would have the chance to grab a flag, stand in the crowd and give voice to my anger. What can I do to vent my anger and sadness here in Buffalo? Nothing. I can't talk to anyone about this, nobody knows what I am on about. I want to join a crowd, but the queue at Starbuck's doesn't feel the same.

I'm not trying to stir anyone's sympathy, but I just want my body to be where my soul is...

On my shelf in Beirut tonight hangs a lonely flag and a red & white scarf, probably wondering why they aren't in martyr's square.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

the mood is somber and sad, the wills are broken. Its a far cry from the hopeful day that is 14/3..Its sadness and more sadness..our resolve has taken a strong beating, i doubt we can recover

5:45 AM, December 14, 2005  
Blogger Matthew said...

I don't know about that. Seems a bit fatalistic to me. I'm not Lebanese of course, but the people I talk to are just as resolved to more towards to future as before. Just look at how much has been accomplished over the last year.

There's a lot left to be improved, but Lebanon has gained a tremendous amount in the last year. It hurts, but things are moving forward.

8:29 AM, December 14, 2005  
Blogger Xylocaine said...

The path of freedom has always been made with blood and martyrs...HOLD on!

Raz don't worry nothing changes here....i know how you may feel... you'll get your chance later...this is just the beginning!

8:37 AM, December 14, 2005  
Blogger raf* said...

dear r,

i hear you. our hearts are in beirut, my friend.


10:27 PM, December 15, 2005  

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