Sunday, August 22, 2004

Siblings



Being an only child leaves me with no conecpt of what a sibling relationship is like. The dynamic of having another person of equal standing in the hierarchy of the family is completely alien to me. Many have tried describing the relationship, but to their frustration (and mine) it was akin to describing the color red to the blind or the sound of the piano to the deaf.

What I have managed to gather so far is that it is somehow similar to having a childhood friend or schoolmate; someone with whom you share many early memories and ties and (more often than not) very few character traits. This is a generalization of course and most people's view vary because of circumstance and experience.

As if that wasn't confusing enough, I've also noticed how people feel about their siblings depends on age and gender: the youngest brother of an eldest sister is a different dynamic than the eldest brother of a middle daughter.

And when we discuss emotions it gets even more obscure. Sibling love, hate, jealousy, pride and rivarly all come into play.

What are siblings like after they stumble into adulthood and start making lives of their own? They seem to acknowledge that there exists a bond (whether they like it or not) that holds them together. A distant 'cord' that somehow connects their separate lives. But they also now respect the fact that they have become individual people. Though their siblings are close, their friends are even closer.

So I've given up on trying to run a simulation in my head of what it would be like to have a sibling because the myriad outcomes are just too confusing and I always seem to paint a rosy picture when clearly it doesn't always work that way.

I realize that I can never have a family of brothers...
but with my friends I can still have a brotherhood.

2 Comments:

Blogger Houss said...

Ramzi,

I was moved by the last sentence.

As you all readers of the blog know of the f**ked up thing I have with my brother, I should say that having a sibling has a lot of problems that Ramzi might have highlighted, and yet others than he cannot even imagine (consider yourself lucky in that sense).

However, no matter how bad things are, you at least have someone to divide errands and responsibilities with (in that sense Ramzi, you are less lucky).

I suggest a solution made of two parts:

1- Get a puppy for your parents to divert part of their love towards and spare you some of the continuous attention.

2- Get a male maid, preferrably Arabic speaking . This way he can both do housekeeping stuff AND "manly" errands. I suggest you also give him a Druze name such as Maarouf and let him think he is like your older brother.

With time, your parents will develop unexplained yet interesting emotions towards the couple "you-puppy (now probably a dog)". At the same time, your errands and responsibilities would have been drastically reduced by the presence of the long lost sibling "Maarouf". You would be getting the best out of all, and you would have the two perfect siblings.

PS: This is not meant to be racist at all. Your maid, you, and your puppy are on equal grounds.

1:47 PM, August 27, 2004  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

garza i suggest u keep ur comments to urself cause, strange enough, u have outdone urself another time in making absolutely no sense at all. and dont even get me started on the sexual inuendoes behind puppy, maid and the love triangle...
roa

8:22 PM, August 31, 2004  

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