Nag Nag Nag
Nagging is always an annoyance. Society shuns naggers like it shuns lepers.
It has come to my attention lately however that although most people can identify a nag when they encounter one, most nags are themselves oblivious to their despicable habit. So, for the benefit of the nags out there (you don't know who you are) I want to clarify what it is to nag.
The dictionary defines the nag (noun) as: "someone (especially a woman) who annoys people by constantly finding fault or those who bother persistently with trivial complaints" .
Interesting. Why especially a woman ? Well, according to Dr. Jamie Turndorf (couples therapist), "women take on the lion's share of nagging because many women find it difficult to directly communicate their needs, they fall into the fatal trap of whining and nagging about what they aren't getting rather than directly stating what they want, need, or expect..."
AHA! So it's a failure of communication. Passing the occasional criticism or opinion is not nagging. Worrying about something and being anxious about it is not nagging.
How to avoid becoming a nag? Say what you mean and mean what you say. If something is on your mind, you can say "I can't stop thinking about XYZ because of ABC".
Simple? Yes!
So please stop nagging! Please stop nagging! You nag all the time! You're always nagging! Can't you stop nagging for a minute in your life! Would it kill you to stop nagging?!
posted by Ramzi at Friday, August 06, 2004
3 Comments:
Hi Ramzi.. My comment is only to second your description of a Nag. I was so impressed by this description because it really fits a friend of mine and for sake of confidentiality I will call her Mrs R H-G. Were you talking about her or is this what all nags are like? From your blog one could easily conclude nagging is a kind of failure of communication but I would like to stress a point (out of experience with the above mentioned pain in the *** nag) which you've already mentioned that the real issue with nagging is the lack of insight rather than a failure of communication. Man, you should meet that Mrs. RH-G!
Hi ramzi...Let me congratulate you on your opening statement: "society shuns naggers like it shuns lepers". I had a Dickinsonian vision as soon as I read it. I also especially liked Dr. Turnoff's insightful comment on nags and women. But nags cant possibly be the worst things one can be, so why not a feature on GAD-screws-up-my-life? I have a friend (for the sake of confidentiality lets call him Mr. A.H.) who would be more than willing to tell you about this particular personality disorder.
By the way, whatever happened to Jack and Dill?
Dear Mouz,
My friends nag all the time. It is like a hammer banging my head and keeping me up late at night. I am afraid as time goes by I might become as naggy as they are. How should I deal with it?
Sincerely,
Hammered in Beirut
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