Sunday, February 13, 2005

Boo! Yawn...

(::: Operation Pedal Power has been postponed due to torrential rain. Pentagon sources have denied involvement... kind of :::)

Horror movies are a waste of celluloid. These so called slasher flicks are the same movie over and over again! The formula is simple. A ditzy teen (or better yet a bunch of them) are chased/terrorized by a person/creature whose soul purpose is to kill ditzy teens. After the mandatory frames of things suddenly jumping on-camera and/or the orchestra gets tired of carrying the same foreboding tune, one of three things happen: the teen is dead, the killer/creature is dead, or we are not sure if anyone is dead (sequel, anybody?).

I barely flinch when the vampire chases the young girl, crawling up the wall and spitting blood. It's not that they fail to give us a fright now and then, but the fact is this genre is dying (or being eaten from within by a shrimp-like creature, to remain in context). And there is nothing coming down the Hollywood-pipeline anymore. And the reason is simple... death isn't scary anymore! You want to see a man flung out of the windshield at high speed and land on the tracks in front of a freight train? Watch the news! Sharks? They pet them on the Discovery Channel! Aliens coming to abduct us and take us to their home planet? YES! Please?!

My advice to the script writers is this: create a story that is really scary! Like having to sit next to a crying, pooping, barfing baby on board a transatlantic Lithuanian airline flight with no in-flight movie!

Monsters... pfft!


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